My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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