thus making me awesome and them whores
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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