So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
