why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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