3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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