Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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