i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
