Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
