He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
