omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
