im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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