just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
