why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You were trust falling into bushes
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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