the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
he just fucked me for my cheese.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
