plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
