You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
