he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
