I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Randomize