I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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