just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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