The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
