I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
