I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
