i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
