fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
