I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
