you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
