Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
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