You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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