I feel like I'm in dance class right now
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
