dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
