i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
