No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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