Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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