a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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