really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Randomize
