i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
