YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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