I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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