Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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