dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
