Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
