are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
