You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
