he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
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