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In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
