your room smells of hookers.
And success
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
