I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
