Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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