i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I met the friendliest cop last night
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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