we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
