oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
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