yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
