even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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