in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
