I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i drank out of a bidet.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I don't deserve a penis
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize