You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Randomize
