I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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