Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
