The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
