I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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