awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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