Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
