Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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