I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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