I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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