i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize